Got a Dollar?

Got a Dollar?

I want to scream...
I want to scream so loud that the people in the next county
Can hear the frustration
I feel like I should be celebrating some recent good fortune
Instead I feel guilty because I feel like shit.

Wandering around wondering what to do
This or that
Up or Down
Art/ Poetry/ Music
Who cares?
I mean, who really the fuck cares?

Work for food
Work for space
Work for work
Work until you drop

Every cell in my body is screaming
Leave me alone!
Leave me alone I said!!
I need to find some Peace

I don't mean relaxation or rest
I mean Peace
I need a little Nirvana and some transcendental oblivion
If only for a little while

I love you go away...
Please don't leave me alone
But please don't touch me
Just be with me
Just be

With me.

It feels like my Muse has turned into a charging water buffalo
About to grind my bones to dust if I don't do something
Anything to relieve the pressure.
Too much to think about
Too much to remember

Have to be an adult
But I don't want to be an adult
There will be fire in the sky
There will be floods and famine
Disease and death
The face of Death is on so many people now and
They don't even know it.

Life is just normal just like always
Life has never been normal for me
What the Hell is normal?
Tell me and I'll give you a Dollar

If I had teeth I think I could bite through steel chains
I want to see farther than even the farthest image of telescopes
I want to see why life is so hard
They say I should quit worrying so much

That is like telling a starving man
To stop feeling hungry
I want to tell you how I feel
Show you how I feel
Make you feel how I feel

Did you know we will probably all be dead in a few years anyway
So none of this matters...
It matters to me now
And now is all I have.

Tomorrow is another day
But which day will it be?
First, last, middle?

The wet and cold light that shines
Through brick and stone
Seeks the seeker
Hope the Warm white Light finds me first.

Turn the world on it's side
Hit it with Asteroids
Blow up some volcanoes
Turn Mountains into Molehills
The Moles won't mind.

If we could just fly
If we could fly to a high place with crystal cathedrals and golden thrones
Just like in the books
You know the books
The ones with all the secrets in them.

Why is it always a secret?
Why do they hide it away?
Why can't we just know what to do?

Maybe there are no secrets
Maybe everything is so obvious that we can't see it
Because we are still stupid animals
We have to earn our souls
By the amount of pain we can endure

And the amount of Love that we create
How much is enough?

Follow the Yellow Brick Road
Follow the Drinking Gourd
Follow the Leader
Follow your heart

The stream will lead you out of the dark forest
The path has always been there
You just did not notice it
The rules got in the way

Everybody knows the Truth
But they want to hear it from some one else
Just to be sure
Just to see if their Truth is the same as the other's
It is not my Truth
I have my own.

I will tell you a secret

There are no secrets.

There are only Truths unnoticed.

None of this will matter anyway one day
When all we know and all we have will be wiped away.
We will become the wisps of colored gasses that drift through space
Coagulating into new Planets and Suns
Shining our light onto another world of lost souls

Looking for a reason for their existence.

We will know the answer
We will know the Secret
We will tell them

For a Dollar.

© 2011 Philip G. DeLoach