Veni, Vidi ...

Veni Vidi...

And then I decided to go home
Home is where the hearth is
Food and warmth
I seem to be a fish out of water

But home was no longer there
The place was overgrown by old memories
that had no place in my world anymore
The rot and ruin is consuming the place
I once called home

A home left alone dies a slow death
with no footsteps or voices
the vibratory life of the house is sucked out
The house cries out in pain
But no one hears

No one but the snakes and the crows
the scavengers who come to pick the bones
of the dead and forgotten

The shadows of memories twist and curl
like vines of Kudzu
Overtaking everything in their path
You still see the shape of a house but
when you clear the vines away there is nothing left

Even the rats and cockroaches have abandoned the place

My life has gotten ahead of me
It is going faster than I can keep up
I still have things to do but can not seem
to find the time
So I mostly do nothing

One day the Sun will go down
and not come back up
everyone will wonder what happened
The Earth, our Mother for millions of years
is about to shake us off like fleas off a dog's back

A splendid End and a New Beginning
A little spark in a huge Galaxy
on an insignificant little planet

© Oct 29, 2011 Philip G. DeLoach

What is The Difference?

What is the difference?

What is the difference between a Mirror
and a Door?
We see what we see in both places.
We are in both places whether we see ourselves or not.

I see doors opening and people standing in doorways
In Mirrors and in Doorways.
Sometimes the people are not there
When I really look.

Who is to say which is real and which is mere reflection?
Where do I end and you begin?
I feel like I have lived for thousands of years.
I keep returning either to here or to somewhere completely different.

I pick a rose and the color and scent produces
a vision and emotion of a place and situation.
The scent and the situation blend into a whole.
For an instant I am transported
to another time and place.

Sitting on the porch of my grandfather's store.
Sipping a Coke that cost a nickel.
Swinging in the swing we had in the yard
that was given to us by my uncle's buddy from the War.

Roses were my mother's favorite flower.
I used to put roses that she grew herself
on her grave every Mother's Day.
Until all the roses were gone and I no longer lived there.
The grave is still there but the roses are gone.

Now even the house where we lived is gone too.
A victim of the Bulldozer.
Most of the places I ever lived in all my life are now gone.
Either destroyed by fire, tornado, bulldozers, or progress.

Progress is not always a good thing.
You can progress in the wrong direction.
Like in a War where you advance to the rear
or make a Tactical Withdrawal.

But what of Doors and Mirrors?
They are like the Smoke and Mirrors
That are used to convince us of our own reality.
A reality that does not really exist.

History is just lies and exaggerations.
If told long enough reality of the Past is just illusion.
Illusion that has been accepted as Truth just because
of Time and Consensus.

That shadowy figure you see standing in the doorway
from the corner of your eye may be you.
Looking for the reality that doesn't exist.
One day the Veil will be lifted.
One day we will see the Truth.

That day may be sooner than we think.

The world may have already ended.
We have just been too busy to notice.

The Roses still grow.

I am still in the Mirror when I look.

What do you do when you look and you
are no longer there?

© Oct 24, 2011 Philip G. DeLoach

What Do You Believe?

What Do You Believe?

I don't know about Astrology.
I know a little about Astronomy.
I know a little about Quantum Physics.
I believe we are everywhere all the time.

And every time, Past, Present, Future.
I was raised a Southern Baptist.
I have studied Eastern Philosophy.
I practiced Transcendental Meditation.

Wanted to be a monk until I found out
that there were no Baptist monks.
The Catholic Church didn't want me.
The Mormons did but I didn't want them.

I used to live practically next door to a
Pentecostal Snake Handling Church.
They took up poisonous serpents and
drank Strychnine in church services.

I have almost died several times
but I never had a Near Death Experience.
I do believe that something of us survives death.
I'm not really sure what or in what form.

I don't believe in traditional Reincarnation
I do believe I've been here at least 30,000 years.
I have experienced life through the eyes and ears of animals.
I have been a field mouse.
I have soared as a Red Tailed Hawk.

Life has no boundaries. All is connected.
On the subatomic level there is no difference between
me and my dog. We are intertwined.
Even rocks and trees are conscious on some level.

If you take all the empty space out of the Universe
it would probably fit into a thimble.
We live in a holographic Universe
where the Infinite is contained in the Finite
and the Finite is contained in the Infinite.

Everyone has experienced ESP or Clairvoyance
to one extent or another from time to time.
What if that was a common experience all the time?
There would be no secrets.
There would be no wars.

Language would be unnecessary because
Thought transference occurs in whatever language
the person receiving the thought thinks in.

What kind of world would we have with no borders
no walls, no boundaries and no hate.
Because hatred is born of ignorance
and there would be no ignorance.

Everyone would know everything.

The thoughts and feelings I have been having
Is that there is a coming reckoning.
A taking stock in where we are and how
we fit into the whole scheme of things.

There may well be disasters or wars.
Many people may die.
Some may possibly survive to repopulate the Earth.
Governments would be pointless then.
Armies would not exist any more.

Daily survival would be the only motivation.
In the Universal sense there is no Good or Evil
there is only what is.
And what I think that is is the Universal Mind of God.
There is nothing nor anybody that is outside that Mind.

As God said to Moses, "I am that I AM."
Alpha and Omega.
The Beginning and the End.
Nothing exists outside of the I AM.

© Oct 9 2011 Philip G. DeLoach

How Do You Leave It?

How Do You Leave It?

How can you let it go?
All the sights, sounds, smells, emotions
of a lifetime.
The people you have known and loved
and even the ones you didn't love
you remember them just the same.

The boxes and albums of yellowed photographs.
The treasured photos that you always meant to have
extra copies made
but didn't.

Many are photos so old that nobody but you
knows who the people are.
You always meant to go through and label them
but who has the time for that?

Memories.

The sunny days lying on your back watching the clouds
turn into ponies and fierce dragons and marshmallow men.
The smell of freshly turned dirt in the Spring and
The musky crackle of the leaves in Autumn.

Lying in bed on a cool Summer night
looking out the window and watching the lightning bugs
light up the trees outside and listening to the plaintive call
of the Whippoorwills.

All the Christmas Mornings and the Thanksgiving Dinners at
Grandma's house. The scary stuff on spooky streets at Halloween.
The excitement of moving to new places and meeting new people.
The sadness of leaving old friends behind.

All these are memories, some good, some not so good.
But they are you. They are what made you, You.
When the time comes what happens to all this accumulated
information, visions, emotions, knowledge, experiences.
Do they all just fade away?

Your best friend is your best friend until you are separated for a time.
Then you find they are no longer your best friend.
They have moved on.
You have moved on but have clung to the memory.

Friends are only friends as long as you stay in touch.
Otherwise they fade like yesterday's flowers.
I don't want to give my life up.
If reincarnation exists then I want to remember
this life in my next one.

I know that many people I know I have known before
It is in the way that you have a subconscious "knowing"
that tells you we know who we are.

But everything that has a beginning
also has an end.
Even though the end is just a new beginning.

I am the keeper of my family's history.
I'm the pack-rat that kept everything.
I have no children.
I am one of the last of my family's line
that started back in the late 1600s.

The rest are dead.

Who will keep the history?

Who even knows the history?

Who even cares?

Maybe it's best that the line ends here.

© Oct. 12, 2011 Philip G. DeLoach

Is It Time?

Is it Time?

It's hard to know
when it's time to go.
It's hard to say
when it's time to stay.

I've been thinking for a long time
I don't know if I'll even be missed.

Friends tend to fade away
when you're not in their faces
every day.

So let us take some time today
to remember those we let
slip away.

Gone but not forgotten
Is the way I would like
to think it will be.

But that's not how life works.
Absence does not make the heart grow fonder.
You're no longer here
but over yonder.

And we all know how far yonder is.
You can say I've gone to wandering.
Don't know if I'll ever be back.
Electronic friends you'll never lack.

They drift right in
Then fade  away again.
It's like they never were ...
Friends to the end.

Just makes me laugh.

At how stupid life can be.
It's all a cost
and nothing's free.
So when I go and not come back
take a piece of what you lack.

Remember you'll never have to
give it back.

© Oct 4 2011 Philip G. DeLoach