A Journey

I woke up in Darkness.

A Darkness that is unimaginable.

There were thousands of lights all around

but I couldn't see my own hands.

Over to my left I saw what looked to be the Earth.

A tiny blue ball.

There was no up or down, no forward or backward.

My only points of reference were inside and outside.

The only thing I could touch was my own body.

There were no sounds except the beating of my heart 

and the blood moving through my veins.

No heat or cold.

My thoughts were so loud they were like explosions in my head.

They were electric.

They were color.

Fluid color explosions.

They made no sense because

they didn't relate to anything I had ever experienced.

It was if everything I had ever done and ever will do, were all going on at once.

And those experiences were tied and tangled with the experiences

of everyone else I had ever known or will ever know.

There was a strange sense of peace being everywhere and nowhere,

and being everyone and no one, all at the same time.

Then,

I heard a voice.

Barely audible.

But getting louder.

It was saying "go home".

I said to wherever the voice came from, "I don't know where that is."

It said "still your mind and open your eyes".

I did, and I found myself sitting in front of my computer

with my mouse in my hand.

I guess that's as good as any other place to be.

© March 6, 2015 Philip G. DeLoach.

Free to Believe the Unbelievable

Time has driven the vagabond from me.

The short span of the illusion of freedom I once had is gone now.

We are all prisoners of our beliefs and circumstances.

We own nothing but memories and fantasies.

When we were children, scared of our own shadows we never realized

that the shadows were as real as we were.

The Land of the Free and Home of the Brave is a holographic projection

of people who think they control everything.

But there are always contingencies .

Unexpected outcomes to what seemed a sure thing.

We are products of "Happy Accidents" or unhappy choices 

made in uninformed circumstances.

We are slogans and products of the PR men and Wall Street Crooks.

Going here and there hoping for the best but we do not know what the best is.

We look for signposts along the way.

There are people who live in unimaginable places.

People who think that they are the only people that matter.

We are only one group of these people.

Some we do not even consider being people.

We are driven by slogans and illusions of reality.

What we "should" look like.

How wealthy we "should" be.

Pages out of magazines in the Doctor's offices.

We turn the page to find we have been lied to.

It is an upside down world and nothing is as it appears to be.

So, what is real and what is not?

We may never know…

© Wed.Feb.18, 2015

I Knew You When

I knew you when we were young.

We had big dreams and no money. 

We thought our generation

would make the world Utopia.

We thought we knew all the answers.

We didn't even know the right questions.

I wanted to hold all my friends and family close.

I never considered the changes and sacrifices

we would all have to make.

Now only a few of my friends still keep in touch.

To many I'm just a memory … Nostalgia.

To others I no longer exist in their world.

Most of my family are dead now.

Wars and bad choices took many friends.

How were we to know that all those dreams

would drop away like last years leaves?

And our Utopia would never materialize.

We all fell into the trap of trying to survive 

by becoming wage slaves.

And all the time we didn't see how the life 

we thought we had was just illusion and that

short span of freedom and exhilaration would give way

to our "senior" years.

Nothing lasts forever,

but did it have to end so soon?

We look back to yesterday

but now yesterday is thirty years ago.

And all we can say is …

We knew one another when.

© 2015 Feb 2 Philip G. DeLoach

Watch Your Step

To all the people who think
you will live forever.
You won't.

Everything you do now you will wear
until you die.
Every smell, sound, thought, and deed
will be recorded somewhere.

Life is not what it seems to be.
History is nothing but lies that keep
being rewritten over and over.
What has been done was not done
for the reasons we think.

There may be some people
who know the Truth.
But they are not sharing that Truth with us.
All we get is the truth.

If you ever find Peace, Joy, or Love,
hang onto it with all of your might.
It is very slippery and evanescent.

Be kind, be patient, be caring.
All we have is each other.

If you have lived your life to satisfaction
you are very lucky indeed.
Even so keep your wits about you.

Love and Luck can come from strange places
and at odd times.

© Jan.12, 2015 Philip G. DeLoach

On Napping

I awoke from a nap that I did not remember taking.
I was just suddenly awake and walking down the street.
I noticed there were no cars moving.
No people going from place to place.

There were no sounds.
No birds, vehicles, airplanes, music, no sounds at all, except the
rustle of dusty leaves on dying trees.

I walked for what seemed like miles and still no sign of life.
The sky had a dirty orange glow to it.
Not sunset or sunrise.

Maybe I am still asleep and dreaming.
I felt like I was being watched but by who or what?
An uneasy feeling that all life had either been taken away or had left some other way.

After days of wandering around in his strange limbo place I was about to lose my mind.
Then I happened to hear something.
I know I heard something!
A buzzing noise.
Something was flying around.

It got closer and closer until it actually stopped at me.
It was a Honey bee.
A single lone Honey bee.

For some reason that bee gave me hope that all life that was gone from Earth would someday be back.
And maybe, just maybe, whatever happened to everybody and everything would be better than it was before.

Then I really woke up.
Everything was just like it was before I laid down to take a nap.
I was disappointed.

Until...

I could hear a Honey bee just outside my window.

© Oct 1, 2014 Philip G. DeLoach